How to know if you child is being abused, or if something will happen, and what to do about it.?

Personally I'm not sure if there is anything but counseling that will help. I would sit down and discuss all of it with her. If you belong to a church you may be able to get couples counseling through there. When a child is involved I don't believe you can just say it will blow over. This may be hurting your child right now and it will come out in his behavior and although right now he may not show it it will do long term damage to him emotionally. Personally I think it may be prolonged Post pardon depression. Some women behave this way and it means she is unhappy and depressed. It doesn't mean she is a bad person but she needs help. I know money is hard but if something is wrong you need to address it now and not put it off because it will effect you, her, and your son. Counseling is considered mental health and most insurances will pay for it. Also like I stated church's very commonly will provide marriage counseling or have other services like that. Communication is important too. I would be there for her but also let her know that the way she treats your baby will not be tolerated and that she does need to change. She may not realize what she is doing will hurt anything but I assure you it will. It is a form of abuse to spank a child and verbally attack him by calling him names and threatening him. By standing by you are not taking care of him. But it's not the end you just need to address this now. Good luck